The initial discussion post was posted in time asrequired in the grading rubric. The discussion post also has twocomments and have included a citation. However, submitting more thantwo comments for the specific discussion topic would have resulted ina higher score. Additionally, there is need to use sentences thatpose questions to the readers with the aim of invoking participationfrom other students posting in the blackboard. It would also berecommended that the post includes responses to the discussion fromother students (Haynie, 2015). The answering of the discussion postrequires that there be the use of both text and several peer-reviewedsources. As such, it is recommended that there be the use of morethan one source. However, the source usedhas effectively supported the ideas presented in the post in acreative way. The post has sufficiently illustrated the experienceswith children suffering from respiratory illnesses.
The APA format also requires some accuracy asshown below (Purdue Online Writing Lab,2017).
National Institute for Mental Health and Illness. (2016).Understanding PANDAS pans: What is PANDAS? Pandas Network.Retrieved fromhttp://www.pandasnetwork.org/understanding-pandaspans/what-is-pandas/
Finally, there are grammar mistakes that needcorrection. For instance, several punctuations are needed such ascommas and semicolons. Other sentences are wordy and requirerestructuring (ISU Writing Centre, 2016). One of such wordy sentencesis “One of the children treated for strep throat approximately 4months prior to this appointment came to the clinic this week becausehis mother reports a sudden and severe change in behavior, his gradesare dropping, he is throwing major temper tantrums and hittingeveryone, additionally he has developed a severe obsession withorganizing and re-organizing things in all of the drawers in thehouse.” Correct use of grammar ensures that the reader does notmisinterpret the discussion post. The discussion has been wellprepared and has addressed a majority of issues in the discussiontopic. Making the above noted changes will increase the quality ofthe content and ensure that the post creates an impact among all whoread it.
Haynie, D. (2015). 5 Ways to AceDiscussion Board Assignments in an Online Class. U.S.News. Retrieved fromhttps://www.usnews.com/education/online-education/articles/2015/04/03/5-ways-to-ace-discussion-board-assignments-in-an-online-class
ISU Writing Centre. (2016). AvoidingWordiness. Retrieved fromhttp://www2.isu.edu/success/writing/handouts/wordiness.pdf
Purdue Online Writing Lab. (2017). ReferenceList: Electronic Sources (Web Publications). Retrievedfrom https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/10/
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